So, rather than creating a new blog, I’m just going to start blogging here about books again.

Reader, this year I set myself a goal to read 52 books, and apparently I should have set a higher goal.  I’m currently at 55 books read with all of December still ahead of me.  I have a lot of thoughts about these books, and so I’m going to share some of them.  If you’ve read this far, you must be interested.

Most recent reads – Vacationland by John Hodgman and Turtles All the Way Down by John Green.

You must read Vacationland.  It won’t take long and it’s hilarious.  It, like MANY books I can now tell you, involves the author’s mother dying.  If there’s anything that makes someone want to write a book, it appears to be the loss of their mother (“What more is there to say than it was traumatic, a moment that breaks your life in sadness and fear forever? Not much except a little bit.”).  It’s also sort of a coming of middle age story about a fairly privileged white guy, and yet, because he’s very aware of his privilege (and perhaps because I am also quite privileged) I still found it very funny:

I guessed she was busy shoving feelings of her own away, shames and angers that I could not fathom across that sudden, nauseating chasm of class and privilege.  We’re not what you think! I wanted to tell her. I’m not fancy! I only went on television by accident!  But I knew what I was: the villain in a Stephen King novel. I wanted to die. Specifically, I wanted to be murdered by a sentient antique car being driven by a rabid Saint Bernard, because that is what I deserved.

This book made me laugh out loud a lot (the quote it not even close to the funniest part, I’m sorry I couldn’t find a really funny part to quote).  It also made me not laugh out loud because he lost his mother and he has some feelings about it that really resonate with me.  I have led such a privileged existence.  My Mom is/will be my first real loss, and it makes you lay awake at night suddenly aware that you won’t live forever and that this might be all there is and damn, are you wasting it?

I wish she were alive, but I am grateful for her death. If she were alive, I would likely still be working at the literary agency.  For how much longer in my life would I have believed there was time for everything? … Her leaving taught me about the worst sadness, one we all must face eventually…. She taught me that the world would continue without me. And eventually I learned the lesson…. Everything is cliché. Here death taught me that life is short.

I still rebel against this in my head — NO I AM GOING TO LIVE FOREVER.  But hey, eventually I will learn the lesson, hopefully before too long.  Maybe once I have a job that is fulfilling I’ll be willing to consider this more…

Turtles All the Way Down is also good, it really put me at least in that teenage mindset.  Possibility isn’t quite the word I’m looking for, but life just looks different when you’re fifteen.  Anything might happen.  The Fault In Our Stars was better, but such is life.

Currently reading: Hamilton by Ron Chernow (this one is going to take a while…) and It’s All Relative: Adventures Up and Down the Family Tree by AJ Jacobs.  Also considering a trip to the library…