April 2014


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At the Chicago botanical garden.

To talk of many things, of shoes and ships,  and ceiling wax,  and whether fish have wings.

Or I think that’s how it goes.  The thing is,  I am feeling like it might be the time to blog about something really heavy.  I have told most people this at this point,  it’s not a secret,  and I sort of hate that this is something to be secretive about. Mental health stuff shouldn’t be shameful,  but it is.

So I’m just going to say,  my mom has alzheimers disease. And experience has taught me you’re going to say,  something like I’m so sorry,  that sucks. Which is not to say that’s the wrong response, or that’s upsetting to me. It does suck. And I appreciate you getting that.  But it so much more than sucks. Which is the problem right?  No one had words that make this better.

The really shitty truth is it only gets worse.  But the shittest truth is,  my mom is already a different person. It’s nothing like on tv. I already hated The Notebook, but now I would rather claw my eyes out than sit through the Hollywood version of this. 

Perhaps,  I have now throughly depressed you,  and you’re wondering why I’m posting this at all.  Well really,  it’s because I just need everyone in my life to know that this is happening. And not to belittle the suffering of people with early stage alzheimers,  but things have gotten much harder here,  where we are now.  Before,  I could you know,  pretend that things were OK. But I can’t now. 

So this is me. Telling you that I’m OK.  But things aren’t.  And appreciating your support this far,  and telling you there could be a lot of really maudlin posts coming your way.  Or,  a lot of pictures of my dog. Because sometimes that helps,  you know?

Pretty sure I saw 3 wild turkeys in the road today in West Orange, nj. That’s weird right? Can’t decide if it’s more likely there are that many wild turkeys running around suburbia, or that someone is raising turkeys in suburbia and they escaped to the road. 

I successfully did not hit them.  So no free turkey.  Sorry.